My Power-walk with God

My pastor is currently doing a series on wisdom and following God's will in our lives. 

And boy, does this chick need to hear these messages. 

See I wholeheartedly believe in God's will.  I know without a doubt in my mind that He has a plan for my life.  That even when things make no sense at all He is in control and it will all be ok.  I believe that truly and deeply.

In fact I even feel (maybe wrongly) that I am pretty good about using God's wisdom and prayer to make decisions in ways that He would want me to.  I could improve on this, obviously-who couldn't?  But I feel relatively competent in this area.

But the issue, for me, comes with finding the patience to wait for God's will & His plan to unfold.  For staying faithful through the seasons of my life that lull and drag on and seem, at times, fruitless and wasteful. That seem like I am constantly waiting...for something.  For answered prayers or unanswered ones. For a husband.  For children.  For some grand purpose in my life to be gloriously revealed. That's what's hard.   That's what I struggle with. 

And that? Ladies and gentlemen that is nothing more than a gigantic control issue.  I, like many of my female (and to be fair, some male) counterparts, enjoy being in control.  Having a mapped out plan.  Following it to get from Point A to Point B.  It has worked in many, many aspects of my life.  School, career, home, car, etc.  These plans have all been checked off efficiently in a timely manner.  It's the husband, the marriage, the babies that I so want that seem to be elusive.  I'm fine with God's will but it's His timing I sometimes take issue with.  I would prefer it line up a little more with my schedule :)  Awful I know.  And I am working on it.  But folks, its not easy.

But a friend in a similar situation lately received some very great advice that I think is something I am going to turn my mind towards when I am struggling with accepting, not so much God's will, but His timing.  What am I supposed to be doing right now that I couldn't do if I were married with kids?  Where does God want me to be that I wouldn't otherwise be able to be if my life were in a different stage?  Good questions and ones that really make you refocus and realize that yes, God does have a plan and no, it doesn't always make sense to us.  But whatever is supposed to happen in our lives will, in His time and according to His plan.  One of my favorite verses sometimes helps me to focus in on those facts when I am having a rough time.

Psalms 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God."

In other words, shut up, let me do my thing and do as you're told.

I'm trying God, I really am.